Saturday, 5 March 2011

What I am doing if I am not doing what I should be doing. A short guide to the art of wasting time

I am back at school with all the pains and glories of going to school. It means that most of my life I spend in the library, in books, reading and writing and … doing all those other things that keep me wonderfully distracted, completely unfocused and successfully ineffective for the bloody 6 weeks.

Surely there must be really nice ways of spending time nicely, when you are supposed to work and you just do not feel like, like …

… staying all day in bed
… watching all Antonioni collection
… having long sex (with my husband, to be clear!:-)
… reading Three Musketeers all over again
... writing proper letters to old friends

But no. I am not having ANY of those. No of course not. Doh! I am working! My catholic guilt would not allow me to do anything pleasurable, when I have to work. Oh no no no, every distraction is strictly forbidden!

So I write. All day. All night. Almost.

A short guide to the art of wasting time:

1. Start your day with the obligatory walk through facebook, twitter, gmail and Leave some comments, press some ‘likes’. You see? What a nice productive start of a day. Takes only 20 minutes (Don’t you dare to actually visit proper newspaper websites. You don’t have time for distractions! Already forgot??? )

2. If after first 30 minutes you feel like falling asleep. No! Go for a coffee. Now, that’s called a productive break.

3. Visiting a bathroom is a humanitarian affair. No guilt here. Even if you find yourself breaking a record in ‘brick breaker’ on your mobile every time you visit loo. I’m a new master in brick breaker after having lost my blackberry with the glorious game called ‘word mole’.

4. Time for lunch, right? It’s been a hard day so far. And it’s so cold and gloomy outside. Everyone needs some nice kick at some point! You still worry that it’s only 11.45 am and you only arrived at 11? No worries. Its food for though. Feeds your brain, can only be good!

5. Back from lunch. You deserve a little update. Facebook. Gmail. Twitter. Skype. Found yourself 50 minutes later watching friend of a friend of a friend photos from his brother’s daughter birthday? Well, let's not be obsessive… who counts little distractions?

6. Sleepy again? High time for a nap. Naps in the library are really healthy. They never take more than 45 minutes.

7. Time to call Michal. He’s also studying hard. So no, actually, no worries, it’s not a distraction. Again pretty humanitarian. It’s always useful to discuss what you haven’t done.

8. Cigarette? Ha, you see, I don’t smoke in the library. Earned an extra time for facebook update, right? Or maybe coffee?

9. Ah now you have an idea! There was this really clever guy the other day? Hmmm? Let’s google him …

10. Hmm, library closes in 20 minutes. You’ve been working bloody whole day and you even haven’t start writing! And you didn’t even call your mum! Call your mum. She’ll take pity on you for the whole day of hard work.

See? Now you see I was far too busy to write blog! ☺ Sweet dreams and lovely weekend!

No comments:

Post a Comment